I just read this thread and all I can say is UGH!!
GB:
Man I don't even know where to begin here because this sitch has got my head doing circles. 25 is giving you some solid advice and so is country but for some reason I don't think you are grasping the concept very well IMHO.
This site is all about support and trying to save your M but at what cost??? Do you lose yourself and your core values in the process?
I believe emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse and I see A LOT of emotional abuse here.
A quick note on detaching
Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence
Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering.
Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life
Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them.
Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
So you see when I hear you say I detached and made me a PB&J to show her I can do things on my own I don't think you are grasping the idea of dataching.
7 Months for me man and I still struggle with it. It is not a switch it is a progression and it is HARD at least for me it was, but it was hard for me for a whole other set of reasons. In your sitch for me I don't think I would have struggled as much.
