SA I am not sure that we are told to act as competent and capable to the MLCer. Certainly they cannot cope with our neediness, for a lot of reasons, but the capability and competence are for ourselves.
What I think your husband was reacting to was his lack of certainty that you were OK For him everything is a mask, and he needs to be sure of what is real in the one he truly relies on.
They are not really PO that we don't curl up but they do resent our capability [while relying on it] It sounds contradictory but many MLC responses are not straightforward.
