I have been thinking about your situation, and the following thought occurred to me - emotionally are you at risk? That is, could your h hurt you by his actions or inactions, or are you fully detached?
I suspect we cannot reconnect successfully with our spouses until we are fully detached from whatever they do. Any pressure is a sign to us, and to them that we want this to happen. Hence if it doesn't there will be, at best, disappointment, and probably more heartache. It sounds paradoxical that we probably can't have really have a successful relationship with our WAS until we do not mind, on one level, whether we have it or not.
Perhaps that is what it means when it says we get to choose.
