18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[Queen_of_Swords]

No, I can't say there has been anything that's moved things along.
Just lately there have been some glimmers.
It's not enough to keep me going though.
With an H. in survival mode work, eat, gym, sleep with a possible EA, and his programmed pattern of silence, conflict avoidance it's been pretty static in my situation.
I know he loves the kids. I know he has a strong sense of duty.

I sincerely doubt he loves me, there can be no love where fear exists. For a long time now he's been telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. Appeasing me like some dragon needing virgin sacrifice and in so doing making me out a monster, lying to me and denying his own truth/needs/wants.

I am in no hurrt to D either, it would impact the kids and me severely. I'm struggling mightly to figure out if now " I'm done."