Won't stand for a broken family

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks DG!

I completely agree, I keep catching myself in thinking we will reconcile and he will come back soon. I don't want to rush and I want to make sure changes stick and we don't end up in this mess again.

I am actually questioning now what has he done to change or improve? I hope that he catches up because I don't want this to be all one-sided.

If your changes are real, then the R has to change b/c it has 2 people in it. One person reacts differently, then eventually the other one does too. Your fears that it'll happen again, are understandable. But the BIG LESSON here is that we only control ourselves. IF he makes it clear he wants back in (as opposed to using his mother to tell you, or other probing methods)...

You need him to be needs to be very clear about what his reasons for returning are, and what steps you can both take to keep the "new & improved" m going safe and strong. NO blaming, no anger and no waiting for the grand apology. He does not have to see the marital history the same way you do. What matters is "today, from this day forward"...

Don't let your fears control you, and remember that You're stronger than you knew.

I am sure I will have a few steps back anyday now.