my h and son gave me necklace

[25yearsmlc]

what she ^^^ said.

You have enough to work on in yourself to stay busy. Stop spending nearly all your mental energy on HIM. Do you still not have 180s? When did you first read the DB books?

My biggest regret in looking back, is doing what you are doing, which is Spending energy on HIM, asking 'why??' all the time, staring at HIS flaws & the injustice of it all.

INSTEAD, I could have started the inner work I needed to do to work on MY OWN LIFE, & MY FUTURE and our CHILREN's lives, if I had not been so preoccupied with my "martyrdom and suffering".

[b] I could have moved on sooner and been happier faster (and ironically, probably gotten him back home faster too)...If I had let go earlier.


What do you think your son's memories of his high school years will be like? Be honest. And do NOT blame your h for how you react or behave with your son. That's solely YOUR responsibility. Think about this before blurting out a non-responsive answer. What are you showing your son, about dealing with a heartbreak? 4 years...HIS High School years!!

Will his recall be of You being stuck in the anger and depression, cycling through it over and over, as if you have no control, for years.

There's no "secret" to this. I got sick & tired of feeling like crap. I was tired of being stuck.

But It seems as if Your capacity for misery knows no bounds and that, my friend, in on you, NOT your h.

Find a therapist/psych or whatever, who helps you to be UNstuck and move forward. And get a L for legal matters. It's not going to hurt to find out whether you'll be financially secure. It'll HELP you to know your rights. You don't have to tell h, or file anything. Just get the darn information to protect yourself and your son. I KNOW your h is being reasonable at this point but that can change fast. Very fast. He'd probably respect you more anyhow.
The "do nothing" approach has not worked well.

I could say more but so far, nothing I have said here has made a difference to you. That gets frustrating. I guess you'll move forward either never, or whenever something in you says "enough".
Good luck