Today is a new day

[lovehurts2]

Got another text from H that said:

And just so you know im not used to sleepin alone.
Or getting used to that feeling I mean

That is in reference to our C session yesterday when I said it's been 3 months and I am getting used to sleeping alone. I wonder if that bothered him when I said that?

This is a good message, at least you know that he is does care and that at the same time the S is effecting him too. H is contacting you, not the other way around. Keep the GAL going..you can see now the differences

like bboom mentioned, maybe stop wondering what he is thinking and concentrate more on yourself. Easy to say, hard to do.

[~¤DG¤~]

Actually, since C yesterday, I've had sort of a peace come over me where I haven't been worried or obsessive.
I honestly wasn't worrying about what he is thinking until he sent me that text.

He has his moments also, just like me.

I am keeping busy. I am having surgery in 6 days on my pancreas which will hopefully cure my pancreatitis, and I hopefully will not be in the hospital very long. My stepmother is going along with me.
It should hopefully also be a quick recovery. I pray anyway.
That's been the biggest thing on my mind lately anyway.

[InAPickle]

You go Gurl !

[~¤DG¤~]

I took the day off today because I need to do some things in preparation of my surgery next week. It's supposed to be a beautiful day out but so far the weather is playing tricks on me.

I woke up missing my H, but that happens every day.
But I am in good spirits and will have a good day.

[ninelives]

Hey Dg, I have shared a joke on my thread. Give it a read, not the greatest joke but one that always gives me a chuckle.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling------

Today was a very productive day. I had the day off to get things in order for my surgery on Tuesday. I met a friend for lunch, we grabbed sandwiches and ate lunch in the park, and I also had to bring my S10 to meet his counselor.
All in all it was a good, productive day and the weather was gorgeous..
Haven't heard from H at all today, and that's just fine.
I am in good spirits.

[jbnati]

Glad to hear it DG. Keep it up! I really hope you've turned the corner now.

[~¤DG¤~]

Today is 3 months exactly that we have been apart.
I hate "anniversaries" like these. I wish I could just forget.

I had a lot of weird/disturbing dreams last night and I am feeling exhausted today. I'm glad it's Friday.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling-----

It was busy today, and I'm thankful for that.
It keeps my mind occupied.

Not too much going on this weekend, a birthday party for a friend and that is about it.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling------

The weekends without my kids are so hard sometimes. I really miss my H.
On our weekends without them, Friday nights were our nights to veg on the couch together. He'd watch reruns of Criminal Minds, I'd read a book and usually fall asleep until he would wake me up and help me to bed.
Sometimes I'd fall asleep on him.

I'm really trying hard not to get depressed, I know these feelings come and go, I just miss him so much and wonder if I'll ever get the opportunity to do that with him again.

I was thinking on my way home, how can I make this right? Not specifically with my H because I can't right now, but how can I make this right so everything I am feeling is forgiven? I don't know if I'm even making any sense right now.
I have changed so much, for the better...I want to be able to do something to show people, not just him, that I'm different. That I've learned my lesson, that I will not go back down that road that I was on.

I know I am not making much sense...I just wish there was a way I could put my mark on the world and say "Yes...I waS a bad person but I turned my life around."