Hey Kaffe, been keeping up on your sitch. In fact yours and a couple others are the ones that inspired my new lines of thinking.
One of the things I was trying to achieve with the conversation today is reminding him of the things he is giving up. He doesn't seem to realize it but he is losing the only person that he really confides in. He does not discuss the details of his life with anyone else. Sure he talks a bit to his family and a bit to his friends but those conversations ebb and flow and are not about his concerns, his work, his life, etc. He is giving up that one person he used to share all of those things with. It is very lonely I'm sure.
He immediately opened up to me about work and the troubles going on - he seemed very eager to discuss it with someone as he has been working very long hours on high stress things. I listened for a few minutes, validated and commented then ended the conversation and went offline. I remain mostly offline on gmail chat these days as opposed to before when I was always online. I want him to realize that these conversations, this outlet, will not always be available to him. I will not always be available to him.
In the previous threads I talked about how he said he would choose his friends over me. However, he has to realize the R he has with his friends is superficial in comparison to the R we had. Like I said earlier, he does not discuss anything in depth with them. I have hung out enough with them to know how their conversations go and what they talk about. It is fun, yes, but not necessarily meaningful when it comes to sharing one's life with other people.
Also, he talked about when we were separated for 8 months while I sold the house in Chicago and he had moved to Seattle. He told me even back then he was enjoying his life so much that he resented me even visiting. He doesn't realize that even then he was NEVER really alone. Yes he had freedom but he also got to share his day and his adventures with me on an almost daily basis. We talked over gmail chat often, we emailed often, we called each other almost every single night. I think he took that support structure for granted (and continues to take it for granted). I don't think he realizes that he has nobody else in his life that he can share these things with.
Can he find someone to do that with again? Yes. Will it be easy? No - especially not for him. He is a very private person who does not open up easily to others. It makes me a bit sad for him that he will have to now carry so much more about his life inside.
