Of Men or of Angels

[Truegritter]

Thanks tra... er fisherman.

I AM much better.

Guess I had to feel all that crap to move through it.

Ain't it the truth.

Thanks for stopping by.

[dl443322]

True, some would say I am quite a character. Not a word, Mach! LOL!

My friend, I am humbled by your words. Really and truly. If I have helped in any way, I am glad.

You have shown such strength and integrity. And to let it play out here so that others can get something from it, shown just how special you are.

I know that you got this. You are right where you should be.

At the beginning, we are looking at the backs of our spouses. Trying to keep up. Trying to figure it out. Then, as we go on, we are next to them, hammering it out and working through it. And finally, we are looking over our shoulders, trying to let them go, but, checking a couple of times, til we are ready.

That last bit is so very hard. Severing the last, tiny thread that binds us to them.

But, when you drop it for real, there is a bit of angst, then a calm.

Then you can begin to look forward, no longer looking back at them.

And if,in the future, it is meant to be, there is always the possibility.

You are right where you need to be, T. And it will be ok.

Miss you, too, Fish. Nice to see you hear. Be talking to you soon, I hope.

[dl443322]

Oh my, I meant here. I almost never make those kinds of mistakes. Oh well. LOL!

[punkin]

Just checking in on you True. How is it goin'?

[Truegritter]

Pun

thanks for stopping by.

Things are much better. I am starting to feel the comfortable calm taking over as I let go.

For a while I got sucked back in to the storm.

I feel like I have pulled myself out again.

And I am just going to live MY life.

[AntoniaB]

I'm actually stitching this line from a song onto a sampler and thought you might like it--the song is by The Verve. The line is: "Tie yourself to the mast my friend and the storm will end." The entire song has great lyrics but that's the most inspiring part.

[Denver_2010]

Hey Gritter. Haven't heard from you in a while. Just want to stop in and say hello. I hope that you are well.

Denver

[Truegritter]

Been taking a little break...

Thanks for checking on me Denver.

I went on a fishing trip last week and didn't do a damn thing with work or here.

Back now.

[Cadet]

Well where are the fish?

You know what Mach says.

You can give a man a fish and he eats for a day
or you can teach him to fish and he eats forever.

So I want to know are we going to eat at all?

Glad you are doing well TG.

[Truegritter]

Oh my friends...

I met my W today. I had decided that I was going to talk to her about us filing our papers. We now have been separated for 21 months and I have seen her only twice in the last year.

I had called her last week and we talked and I said:

TG:"I think it's time we both move on. I wanted to talk to you about how we can do that together. If not then we can always do it the hard way."

W: Can we see each other?

TG: Well I have to be over there on Monday.

W: Can we get lunch together.

TG: OK.

So we did. I had thought all the way over there about how she was going to fight me on this or what she might demand. I expected her to be the same person she has been.

She wasn't.

She was kind. Contrite about her choices. Descibed herself as "looney chick".

She apoligized. I apoligized. We laughed.

She said: "We had an amazing romance."

She said: "I want you to know that you are a very talented, amazing person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't let anything get you down." She said this and tears came to her eyes.

I just sat there dumbfounded for a second.I stared out into space.

W: Where did you go? Where are you? You left the buidling.

TG: Yes I just stepped out for a second to walk in the rain.

She laughed.

TG: W what do you want to do?

W: I know that I behaved badly but there are parts of me that are me that I don't think you like or if it would ever work. I think maybe we should just walk away.

TG: OK I guess I agree with you.

We talked about filling out the paperwork together etc.

We looked at each other. We were sad.

We walked outside to say goodbye. She looked at me.

I held her face in my hands and kissed her. She smiled.

And we hugged.

TG: I love you.

W: I love you too.

We kissed again. And said goodbye.

When I finally let go. She became peaceful. She is healing. She tells me she isn't on any medication any more. She feels much better. She looked beautiful.

I want to see if we can be ok together. I am scared of the past.

I am scared of us hurting each other again.

This feels like we can maybe try. I feel like she was waiting for me to say I didn't want to do it (get a D).

I feel like I might want to date my W again to see if I want to D her.

I feel like we can fill out the papers and put them in a drawer and see what happens next.

Oh my friends...

I didn't see this coming.