If you could have read my thread from 2 years ago, it would almost read verbatim. You are embarking on a long road of emotional ups and downs. I am two years into my situation and now the W is going after sole custody to get what she wants. i heard the controlling, you name it. The fact is, you learn the hard way on why the marriage got to this point. I know I had culpability in the downfall of the marriage. Your W is racked with guilt in breaking up the family which is why she isn't sleeping.
What I have learned through all this is that you can only lie to yourself for so long about how you feel. Eventually, your body is going to tell you that you can't do it anymore. It took me along time to understand that. After my W moved out, i ran to eharmony to find the next W. I learned then I wanted love so bad, you will lie to yourself to get it. Well 8 months in, the same thing was happening. I couldn't like to myself any longer. i too wasn't in love with my Wife any longer. i wasn't in love with the girl I was dating. That is where my insomnia came from for years.
Now your wife is facing the same things. I used to think love is a choice. It isn't. It is something that has to come from your heart, not your head. You can only control yourself right now. You can't control or change her emotions. Either she is going to find that love for you again or she won't. You wouldn't want someone anyway if they didn't love you. I used to think it would be ok, you can be with someone if you weren't totally in love with them. I know now, that isn't the case. No matter how much you think they are the right person for you. It has to come from your heart.
I hope your W finds that love for you again. My didn't and I am still learning. It is a long road. Take it day by day. Keep going forward. Remember, you have to be OK. For you first so that you can be there for your kids. I am still struggling as well, otherwise I wouldn't be here...
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
