Loving someone is at least in part a choice. I will explain......
It’s a feeling I can’t control because the heart wants what it wants, and a part of me can’t control who I’m attracted to, drawn to, or have chemistry with.
But a part of it is a choice– a commitment to hold on to this person I have chemistry with— forever, with the realistic view that this person is not going to always be as perfect as they seem right now.
It’s living with the realistic view that it’s not always going to be easy, and I’m not always going to want this person as strongly and as passionately as I do now–
But when those times come, I’ve backed up my feelings with a decision to stay through it all.
Why?
Because the feelings are volatile.
They come and go.
It’s my commitment that is forever.
It shouldn’t change like the feelings.
So the answer to the question, is love a choice or a feeling?
Well, it’s both.
Basically this kind of love does not waver and is not impacted by the lover’s actions
You can despise the action but continue to love the person.
We do with our kids all the time.
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.
It begins when one person decides; I’m going to express love to my spouse in spite of the fact that I don’t have warm feelings toward her.
