I don't mind doing the cleanup if she uses the time to interact with the kids or go work out etc. Doing nothing by sitting on the couch all night and drink doesn't resonate with me.
I wouldn't say that I am doing this just so that I can rub it in her face. I do it because I want the house to be clean and tidy for our kids. My oldest son has friends come to our house everyday ar lunch time and I cringe at what they they think on those days when I did not have time to clean up and there are multiple days of food and pots etc on the counter.
Makes it diffcult for me to get the kids to help out when they see their mom grab her drink and plop down on the couch for the evening. Having said, that if it does bother me than I should as you suggest have the quiet conversation with my wife.
Its like last night when I went to go visit my mom and finally drop off her Mother's Day Gifts. My wife didn't want to go and then the kids all said that they didn't want to go either. I went by myself and had to dodge the questions from my mom about why the grand kids did not come along for a visit. Wife said that if I had given more notice it would not have been a problem.
I guess my wife felt bad about it this morning because she sent me an email from work after she had finally listended to a voicemail message I left her about wanting to go visist my mother this week. She said we should invite my mom over for dinner this weekend which was a nice gesture. I will take her up on the offer. I told my wife not worry and that I should have given her more direct notice of what I was planning.
It was all I could do yesterday to not slide into my old self and get mad because no one wanted to come on the visit. My mon goes out of her way to buy nice gifts for the kids or give them money and they couldn't come along for an hour visit. I just said that I will go my myself because I needed to see her and left it at that.
Anyway, it did generate a nice email exchange between us today. So far this week the emails were very cryptic and to the point. This morning there was actually warmth and well wishes included. The rollercoster ride continues.
