What to do next

[JustStunned]

Journaling: The B-day dinner went well. I was upbeat, contributed to the conversation at the table and managed to deliver a few laughs for the 7 family members that showed up. I carpooled with our daughter driving her car. During the 40 min drive we talked about many things and managed to stay away from the D drama. W did not attend the celebration.

Tonight is a family gathering for the May birthdays. The extended family has a spike of B-days in May. So we tend to hold a little group event each May. Tonight we are gathering to mob the new Pirates movie. A few of the Geo Cachers may also so up. W is not attending.

Yesterday I took a half day vacation to locate the remaining documents needed for the L and to take my Mom to a Dr Appointment. Mom received a good checkup and we’ll do another follow-up visit in August. Mom had some banking to do and a few other errands to accomplish afterwards.

While waiting at the Dr office Mom began to crack wise about W and this sitch. Mom has a wicked sense of humor and uses it to deflect and vent stress. I probably should have just gone there with her for her sake, but it very quickly became a slam W fest and I had to ask we discuss something else. I explained I am just not ready to talk about this sitch that way yet. Eventually I’ll be detached enough for gallows humor, but I’m not now.

Break out the 2X4s

W called last night and left a VM. I listened to the VM and decided to wait until today to respond. W called the house phone later from her Aunt’s phone. I should have ignore this also, but I did not.

W wanted to get together at our house to “work on what the lawyers said”. I asked her what that meant, what did the lawyers say?

W, you know during the meeting.

Me, we’ve done the inventory, and I have just about completed gathering the documents they need. What else is there?

W, we need to prepare the house for sale.

Me, We’ll determine what we’re doing with the house after the Ls look over the documents I’ve gathered.

W, we should get together on Sunday at 2:00 and work on the house.

Me, Are you using this as another opportunity to inject stress into my world? I was not very successful keeping my tone neutral here.

W, hung up.

I know I should have kept it more upbeat. I just didn’t have the well of energy to draw from this time.

Interacting with W during these visits has been difficult. She generally arrives like a tornado, spends her time pushing my buttons and leaves after creating chaos. I generally spend several days wondering why I care after these visits. I know detach, detach, detach. Difficult to do when she’s poking a sharp stick in your eye.

I have plans with friends this Sunday afternoon, and I just should have stated that from the beginning to gundeck W’s intent rather than get drawn into the drama. I should have remembered to control the pace and not let her dictate it or be drawn into it.

I am attempting to let her run as far away as she wants, and she keeps coming back to tell me what to do, how wonderful her life is and demanding responses. Yes there is a little anger still here, less than what was present at the beginning of this post, and I feel better just having written this.