18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

Ok, I need some advice now. H was over the last two nights. Both nights I tried to be very clear about what I wanted/needed help with, like taking kids out for awhile so I had alone time, helping with dishes (since I cooked/usually do them), etc.

Last night I was a bit grouchy before dinner and said (a sort of apology), that I was feeling out of sorts and didnt know if it was a sleep/hormone thing or if I was frustrated that I don't really have a choice about moving. He brought up AHRNOLD the cheater and we talked about that a bit in a general news way. Then he got the kids outside for a walk and I got a chance to relax and finish cooking dinner.

Later in the night, after a good, fun visit (well, I'm not sure if he loved doing the dishes), I swatted at him with the broom and asked if he ever wants to just have a fight/have it out about how stupid all this is. Before anyone freaks, it was not an intense/drama filled thing. He said yes, well, not fight/you'd have that part, more just what an idiot I am. We didn't have a major convo, but he did say tell me to let him know if there is a time I want to set aside for a "fight". I said he should let me know when he wants to, since his schedule is harder.

So, what do I do? Leave it alone and see if he brings it up? Go for it this Sunday, when the kids will be asleep? Wait till after we are gone a few weeks on vacation around memorial day?

I was thinking I would ask when he comes on Sunday if we should talk while the kids nap. If he doesn't bite, I'll let it go? Or is this some sort of taking control/not being a doormat opportunity for me?

Ideally, we have some sort of convo on Sunday where he says what an idiot he is and I say I'm ready/have accepted that I'll probably have to move away, but that I don't like it. Then we have some nice visits next week, the kids and I leave for two weeks/min contact, then maybe we'll have a breakthrough when we get back?

I think I'm being too optimistic/trying to control the outcome and write a script.

I also mentioned that he'd need to start thinking about getting his stuff out of the attic. He went upstairs briefly to check it out. Came down with a football thing to take home with him - it was hard not to say THAT's WHAT YOU WANT TO LEAVE HERE WITH? lol - we have these amazing kids and ME and that's what you want to take with you tonight. overall, there are some heavy feelings in me, but nothing overwhelming.

Who knows, maybe the world is ending tomorrow and this isn't really an issue?