My sincere suggestion is you stop listening to 3rd parties in regard to your very intimate and personal relationship with your W.

Don't talk to friends or family about it except in the most superficial way. They cannot help you and they too have differing perspectives and vested interests.

Vent here if you must. This is really the only place I feel I can do so freely without judgement.
Find a trusted counsellor who has both your interests at heart,is supportive of marriage, but is mainly there to listen to you, offer an objective eye and proactive strategies for dealing with the situation you find yourself in.

BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.