I'm chalking this down to a "bad day". With exceptions...
And this will likely come across as being self righteous or similar, unattractive tripe.
It was a good afternoon and evening. I'd say borderline great.
Went to the boxing ring and hung with D13 while she went through some exercises and sparred. Pleasant time for both of us, from where I sat.
After that, picked up Venus and headed off to city for a wine tasting event.
Stopped at a lounge for a quick bite and some conversation before the event.
Received text from W. "Would like to talk to you. Can I call you in 1/2 hour". No idea what to do with that. Out of character for W. She doesn't text me any more.
Venus convinces me to respond. I do so and mention that I'll try to get a hold of her as soon as possible. W then texts back an hour later and says she'll wait for me to get back to her.
Wine tasting event is fun. Good group of people. Strike up conversation with people next to me. Couple ladies, one married, one not. Had lots of laughs. Single lady caught my eye. hmmmmm...
Event is over, I text W that I am sorry I couldn't get back to her yet. Ask her if she can text it. W responds with "No need to talk. Call when you can. It's about this weekend."
Venus and I go to near by BP and grab some food. W texts again, asking if I will call tonight. I respond saying I will for sure. Ask if she can give me a heads up what this is about. W responds indicating it's about being fair to me about seeing the kids... hmmmmm... Follows that with about what's in D8's best interest. I text back, promising to call as soon as possible.
I call W on the way back.
The call is much longer than I expect. Maybe longer than I should have allowed, but it was a good call. Much revealed.
W indicated that her "pull back" with the kids visits was about her being mad at me for something she thinks I did this past week. Something about me snooping. I really didn't. I haven't been around the house since the video clip incident which was before I moved.
W then said that she purposely changed the kids' visits for that reason and realized that was a knee jerk reaction and not fair. She did say that she was worried about not seeing the kids on the weekends and I validated saying I completely understood. She said the word of the day is "sacrifice". She indicated she understands how difficult it must be for me to not have access to the kids. How things are different now because of the move. And how things might look regarding visits with the kids this summer.
I told my W I really appreciated her sharing that with me and that it is tough not seeing the kids. I mentioned that I was sorry that I was coming across as being a jerk as it was a reaction to missing the kids.
W mentioned that D13 went back to the house after boxing and told W how she was very excited and happy that I had been there. Not sure if that was part of W's reason for changing her mind again.
There was more. Yes, partly about us. How I had been making it clear that I did not want to talk to her. Me saying that I DID want to talk to her but was not contacting her because it was my understanding that she did not want to talk to me and that I have always been here for her to call.
We cleared the air.
At the end of the conversation, W indicated that if I wanted, we could go back to splitting this weekend with D8, to which I whole heartedly agreed and accepted.
We closed the conversation of agreeing that we were both sad that we ended up "here" in regards to our unwillingness to communicate and trust each other. And that this is our new starting point.
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Baby steps. But from where I sit and I'm sure my W as well, the baby steps are simply just a positive towards being able to feel comfortable talking to each other. Nothing more at this time and unlikely ever. But at least we can work on being able to co-parent and be in the same room together.
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Had fun flirting with the waitress at BP and look forward to the next wine tasting event. I think I'll strike up a bigger conversation with my new wino friends... lol...
