Thank you 25, it seems like everything is hitting now and sinking in. I actually did not ask for the food in fact I had made the kids and I a meal but wasnt really hungry. She just happen to be out to one of my favorite palaces and offered. She did not know I hadnt eaten. Which isnt out of the ordinary I have lost more than 100 lbs over the last 18 months, so was common for me not to eat alot. I was very appreciative for the food and offered to share.
She did relay a conversation (which I did not even ask her to do) that she had with her friend. Her friend had expressed how she couldnt believe that I was still allowed to be in the house. My wife told her that it was easy to have an opinion about a sitch. when your not involved in it. At this time I thanked her for allowing me to stay and how much it meant that she was that kind.( not sure if this was the correct response or not but, I was a little taken back)
25 I know that I want to stay in the marriage and in my family. I grew up with out a father and my mother was not around much, out sewing her wild oats (guess I know where I get it). But I guess I am stuck on how to make it clear to her that this was a one time thing. I never ever want to put her or my kids through this again. I really dont know why I did what I did, I know that sounds like a really weak excuse. It has just been a difficult time for me personally and I handleded poorly. I think it had a lot to do with getting attention that I have never really ever gotten before.
I do know now realize that I have married a saint and has put up with more than enough from me. Yes 25 there have been times when I thought this is to much, I should do the right thing by her for once and back out. But, I do love her despite my actions to the contrary. Thank you all for the great advice and I am not giving up just giving her space and time and trying to show her that I am worthy of keeping in this family. I hope that I can get more great advice.
