Going by the definition of piecing, we are not there yet.
More than a month ago, we had a big problem with our D12. We found out she was cutting, and her therapist told us that she needed the support of a stable home, that we had to put our issues aside for a while and work on providing her the family support she needed. Both H and I wholeheartedly did that.
About a week into that, I sensed a change in H. He started to act more concerned towards me, connecting with me, calling me at work, etc. On our spring break vacation, we went to our home country, and was with his family. Whilethere, we did a lot of things together, I could see him genuinely being happy agan, and we started getting really comfortable with each other. Once, I was questioning him a little with regards to something that he may have been doing which was related to OW, and he told me not to rock the boat now that we were starting to have good convos.
When we got back, he told me that he felt that he could accept things the way they are now and stay in the M. This is of course related to the MLC script " I could not live this way for the rest of my life; that it would make him miserable not to feel "in love", blahblahblah".
We have had a few downs since then, but it seems like he is determined to move forward; the last was when he caught me snooping, he was so angry at me but the next day we picked up where we left off.
I have learned also to be forgiving; finally have managed to leave behind my resentment, and even the snooping. I know he still is in touch with his OW, but it seems like it is no longer an active EA, more like a friendship. I know he is still struggling with his feelings for her though, but I know my H, if he has made up his mind to stay, he will. My feeling is that I will just let him deal with ending his feelings for OW is way and not meddle. It makes me more at peacce.
I see him too making a lot of effort to please me, and to be patient with me, and that is enough for now.
I know I love him unconditionally, and that I am so grateful that finally we are at this point where wordlessly (thus the title of the thread), we are both working on the M.
My problem though is I have been suppressing my feelings for so long that right now, I don't feel that spark anymore.
Last weekend, we finally had a date night - we went to vegas, just the two of us. He lanned on it, we went shopping, nice dinner, then we even ML.
But because we were both avoiding R talk, there did not seem to be much we could talk about. I actually got bored during our drive there and back. I racked my brains for things to talk about but could not find anything. I felt like whatever I brought up went flat. the more anxious I was, the less I could think of what to say.
I would think to myself "Oh no, if he were with OW he probably would be so entertained!"
By the time we got back home I felt like I had an overdose of togetherness, and I sensed so did he! We both diod not talk much for the next two days.
The third day he started calling me again, but I sensed a gap.
Right now, we seem to be at some sort of stand still.
Could this be a prelude to piecing?
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
