To H3ll and Back

[angel61]

Glad I dropped by to read your sitch and everyone else's comments. I am in that hazy part also where my H already has stated he is not leaving the M, but has not made any committments, and apparently is still struggling with his "in love" feelings with OW (this is an EA only, long distance). I know they are still in contact, he swears that there is "nothing" going on, he is only helping her with her research project. The part about not hurting OW made me laugh; that was one of H's concerns too during the time they were in the proces of ending it, he was so concerned that should think he dropped her and left her without a friend (she has lots) and that she was hurting because she was feeling guilty about coming between him and his family.... all the time, I wanted to scream "what about me? are you not concerned about hurting me?"

Looks like its the same experience with a lot of you. So at this point, might as well not expect there to be any cut-off date that I can look back to.

H sometimes seems so engaged, so in touch with me and the family; then he probably gets attacked by self doubt then wanders away for a bit.

Oh well, maybe I should start my own thread here in piecing even if I am not officially in it yet; I feel that I am not in it yet but on the way; and those of you who have been through this can tell me if what I am experiencing is OK. I have all those ambivalent feelings, wondering if I could feel "in love" again, feeling like I am watching my sitch from the sidelines. Sorry for the hijack MZ, I do hope you visit my thread when I create one as I feel I am trailing you in my sitch.

Anyways, if this is any help, I read on someone else's thtread that the only way to move on is to live each day like it is your first. YOu are piecing now, I don't think it will really matter if you know when he ended the EA, what matters is that it is over and that you are both moving forward and working on the M. Would knowing the date really change things?

However, it would be great if he can assure you that there will be no more lies and deception in the future. I guess though he can only say that when he is ready.