A very good friend of mine mentioned bed wetting issues with her kids. She has been to counseling for this stuff as well as stuff from her own, messed up childhood.
She mentioned that with one of her kids, bed wetting only occurred when kid was with her. A sign that the kid had issues with her, which had later been resolved. Another bed wetted at her place AND another AND at a friends, so his issues were on something else. These were psychological issues, not physical issues.
She mentioned how when her mom started openly dating (or being with someone she was having a relation with) my friend would throw MAJOR tantrums. And she revealed that the tantrums were to put focus on HER so that her mother would drop focus on OM.
There are two families that W hangs out most with and both these families, who have kids, have the mothers who are smoking pot. One family (which W does not hang out with much these days) has two daughters who have been sneaking and smoking pot, a third who will probably follow that route. The oldest has recently been put on suicide watch. Her issues began about three years ago when she lost her virginity (at about 13), and she began cutting, using drugs, etc, etc. This is all open, my daughters know about this.
The middle daughter is the one who my D13 smoked pot with. According to D13, middle daughter has also lost her virginity recently at 13.
The other family, the one who my W spends the most time with, their 13 year old son is sneaking pot from his mom. My D13 also knows this.
The fathers in both these families are alcoholics.
Are these bad people? No. They are good people who have addictions. I (mostly) like them. The only one I really have issues with is the enabling gf with the son who sneaks pot, who is supporting W in her WAS syndrome and enabling and encouraging and helping to hide the OM.
I struggled with alcohol as a teenager / young adult. I stopped once I realized I was going down a bad path. I do drink, but I found I am not an alcoholic. I have gone years with only one or two drinks. Very rarely do I get drunk. I thank my hangovers for that. I have used drugs when I was young and have maybe smoked pot 5 times over the past 15 years.
My W smoked a lot of pot when she was a teenager. When with her friends, while at school, etc. It was a bad time in her life. Around the time her dad and mom split for a year. They are now divorced, about three years ago, now. Her mom has since married a childhood sweetheart who she had her first daughter with, at the age of 14.
My W's dad was an booze rep who always had "a garage full of booze" (samples and orders) that she and her brothers and friends would tap into in their teen years, while he was in that business.
These are all "good and normal" people (depending on what one considers good and normal to be).
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I just want fair time with my kids. My W tells me that I need to be flexible and can't have them every weekend and her work and the variables of being a kid will interfere with how often the kids can see me.
I get that... I just want some consistency here. Some regularity... and a little more than 14%... sorry for nit picking...
