CS, you mentioned a plan already, albeit with little fanfare. I mean, you filed the minimal response needed to protect yourself, and now you can let her or her L do the rest of this, IF she wants to.
I don't think I'd mention anything to her about it. As if it's totally separate from your R with her and d. She may have forgotten this, literally, I mean she has to have put this div on the back burner so to speak. Why would you want to change that?
So, how about continuing to allow her to steer things for now, backing off otherwise? If I had to choose a side of the fence, I'd choose the backing off over the pressuring.
At this point, at a minimum, you come off looking like a stand up guy, a "pillar", a good dad, a good son in law, and about as kind & cool as any stbxh could be. That counts!
Remember to keep this about doing the right thing, and not wanting pay back from her. Presuming to be "close again", b/c you were there for her, might seem as if you are EXPECTING pay back, and we all know you can't have expectations...given the circumstances, it would look tacky.
The pics and sending them, doesn't seem too pursuing if you are not also sending notes. But I'd limit it to a small number. Unless the pic is REALLY cute or unusual, like she's blowing flower petals, etc. then limit them. I mean, She has a camera too.
Hope this helps. Give all this more time. This has thrown her for a loop, but on the whole, it has to have improved your position. (Sorry if that sounds crass) I'm betting/guessing, that SHE does NOT KNOW what she's feeling right now and doesn't trust herself much b/c of the grief. That's wise on her end.
hang in there
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
