Do you know yet WHY you had the A? For me, knowing why my H had cheated was an important factor in the healing process. As 25yrs has alluded to, one needs to have some measure of certainty that as a couple, if a future together is going to exist, you need to be able to ensure the factors that led to the A can be prevented in future.
You need to eat humble pie, and for a good long time.
Your old M no longer exists. You destroyed the exclusivity in it......and mourning that can take a long while for the betrayed partner. I still find myself thinking about it some days even now, and even though my M appears to be in a healthy place. I still have to DB, it's has to become a life skill now.....but having gone through piecing it is also a joint thing.
You have done a lot of damage and you need to earn the trust and forgiveness and that takes time.
A's happen as we all know.....but to me, knowing the 'why' was crucial.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
