The big punch

[Redo]

When i was driving back home, i call her up to make sure she was okay.

M : "Hey are you okay? Look i did not want us to get on that path of convo to stir you up emotionally"

W : "You know sometimes i look for answers as to why this happened. Sometimes i think of calling you up for answers. But i know that if you knew the answer, we not be here in the first place"

M : "Look the only answer i can give you here was that i was totally immature when we got married you. I had no clue the amount of effort it would take to run a family and be a husband. If you knew then what i know now, i would have done things differently."

W : "You have known me a while. Do you think i am un-reasonable. I did try to get you to work it out with your family. But you chose to remain miserable"

M : "Look, you were not un-reasonable. I am owning up to my mistakes i did for our relationship failure. I did not act like man. Never made you feel secure and safe. Now i know what it takes to be a man and keep a marriage. It is just that i had to go through this mess to realize all this. Sad part is that it would not have worked out in any other way"

wife was quiet.

M : "Take it easy. We'll try to make it work so that our daughter will grow up okay. That is all i want. I'll talk to you later"

I dunno. After this convo, it felt good and bad. Good, because i am again mind reading and think that she is thinking....
Bad because she has formed all this crazy wrong ideas in her head about me. But it seems like a classic waw symptom. She has to justify to herself as why she is leaving this marriage. So she has begun to lie to herself. It is a worrisome development. I guess there might be external influences too. my SIL is one of them. Her new found friends might be others. Again, i just have to cultivate patience. Thats the only gift i can give to myself right now.