The big punch

[Redo]

Journaling....

lots of things happened yesterday. I'll be splitting it up across multiple posts to cover all my thoughts.

First off my lawyer called and talked to me about the decree she was reviewing. In a nutshell, she had lot of concerns on the custody. She felt wife was trying to isolate out daughter. Apparently wife was so scared that i'd take daughter and run away to india that she refuses to let daughter travel with me to india. I guess what bothers me more is that wife thinks of me this way. If she knew me, she knows that i am more interested in daughter growing up amongst us. Anyway, the conversation was good. Got good feedback. Lawyer said she will prepare a letter for wife's lawyer. I told her that i too will try to talk to wufe about some of this sole custody issue that she is so intent on hanging on to.

Later i called up my usual time to talk to daughter. Since it falls during my work time, i clear up my schedule for that 1 hour so that no meetings fall during that hour. But as it seems to be happening nowadays, again wife could not be reached. I wait and call in 1/2hr. Then wife picks up. I tell her that if 4-5pm was not good, then to suggest a different time. She tells me that they were running an errand. I said i was willing to work with her on this, but if could let me know by sms about the schedule change. There was no apology, but instead an 'ugh...ok'
I let it go. No pint hanging on these things anymore. But yes, i did let her know that i do make time in my work schedule for the talk. It was her suggestion that i call between 4-5pm anyway. Now she cannot keep up that time.

Then i talk to daughter for a while. Before hanging up, i ask for wife. Then i tell wife that i'd like to talk to her face to face on saturday about some stuff which came out of the convo i had with my lawyer.

W : " What do you want to talk about? Look, i don't want to go jail because i'll hurt you if i get angry(i know she was joking here)"

M : "I dont want to talk them now. Can we talk for about 5 mins on saturday when i see you?"

W : "Can you send me the topics via email so i am prepared for them?"

M : "Sure, thats fair enough"

W : "What did lawyer and you talk about?"

M : "Usual lawyer stuff. I guess one thing she said was that you were scared that i'd take daughter and run away...wife if you know me you know honor and my word is important to me. You know i dont do stuff like that??"

W : "What do you mean honor?. If you cared for honor and your word, you would not go back on your word that you'll work on the marriage"

M : "You are not making any sense here. Thats okay, let it go. we can talk about it later"

W : "You know that i am not trying to restrict you from having a relationship with daughter. I even told my family to not confront you. I am trying to protect you. I told them that i will not talk anything bad about you to them because you are daughter's father"

M : "You keep saying that you will not tell anything bad about me to your family. I think you should go ahead and tell them what is in your mind. (i know that if she does say the reasons for her divorce, her family will not agree with her reasons. She knows that too)

W : "Look, i just want to do whatever to make sure that daughter has a good future. I stay up night thinking what her future will be like"

M : "Thats the same thing that keeps me up at night. But i'd like to work with you so daughter's life is not affected. "

W : "You know i take her to lowes to do those projects. It should have been you. This is not how i thought things end up"

M : "You know when you tell me that you took her to lowes, i felt so heavy in my heart. I wanted to do so many things with her. I wanted to provide her all the best i had to offer as a dad"

wife then starts crying, saying she felt that our families cheated us. That we were not meant for each other. Just then i guess daughter came to my wife.

M : "Dont cry in front of daughter. Take care for now"