I went to alanon tonight and had a good meeting.I bought two more of the alanon books. I called one of the ladies from alanon on the phone before I went also and she helped me see that I actually set up a boundary by telling my H that I was not ready to talk yet on monday.
What I learned tonight: not to fret about the talk H and I will soon have. Fretting about it wont do me any good. Nothing I have done in the past or did not do in the past caused his alcohol problem. I need to trust God to bring me down the path he wants me on... and start following it. Acceptance.
I do have a lot of faith. It was strengthened greatly when I saw God answer past prayers of mine. I do believe. I do know I want to be happier in my future and I believe that God will protect my Heart in the long run.
Thank you so much for all the help I have been getting from you all. I am very appreciative.
My brother and I had a long talk on our way home from my alanon and his A.A. meetings tonight, and his support really helped. Its kind of nice to have a recovering alcoholic as a big brother (considering my present circumstances and the remarkable changes I can see in him and his life - he is a new man... happy now). He helps to remind me to "let go and let God" and to take one day at a time.
I told him that I understand that if I am ever going to have a rel. with my H again that is healthy - he would have to get the help he needs first. Until then...I am going to try and stop the self pitying and just live life to its fullest I can.
Yesterday is the past, tommorow is the future...and today is a gift and that is why they call it the "present". TIPPER
