+ I have talked to D13 in the past about how I would always be here for her. That I would never abandon her. I do remember mentioning something about how things can happen where a parent disappears from a child's life. I do not remember ever using the word disown. I suppose I may not have been clear. And I do not remember EVER saying that I would not be part of her life in any way, neither in anger nor frustration nor threat. I do remember telling her that she will live by her choices in context to her saying that she is "old enough to choose where I want to be."
+ D13's biodad may appear to have "abandoned" her. He was "removed" from her life due to a restraining order. Every visit he had with D13 was supervised by my W. Eventually, he stopped visiting and calling. He recently started calling again. I do not know the current status of his communication with D13.
+ I have since texted D13 this afternoon to let her know that W was concerned (and of course, that I was) about the supposed abandonment / disown feelings. I apologized and indicated that anything I would ever mean in that regard would be that I would NEVER abandon her (because I know she has abandonment issues). That I could not imagine that I would have ever said that... I joked, saying that she's stuck with me for life. She accepted my apology and then invited me to watch her spar tomorrow afternoon. I accepted the date. She used the word "implied" in the context of "You definitly inplyed that you would abandon me." I do not know if 13 year olds use that word...
+ In regards to D8, for the past 3 months, I have been very careful to be cheerful in her presence. I have had pleasant conversations with her, unless it was any usual negative behaviour. I know that she has told me in the past that she was worried that I am sad. I have been very careful to let her know that I am no longer sad. I have let her know that I miss them when I haven't seen them for a while.
+ Regarding D8's behaviour around me, she is nothing other than what I would consider a typical 8 year old with some challenges regarding dealing with her feelings around her parent's separation. I have told her that she is welcome to share her feelings with me if she wants to. This past weekend, she commented (in regards to D13 not staying) that she figured D13 was probably just being like her in wanting to avoid thoughts of the S. Typical and expected comments from a child living through a S and D.
+ In regards to peeing the bed. She has not done so any time that she has been with me. I'm not sure if that is a regular occurrence or just and accident. It sounds like only one time. Now if asked whether I thought that might be some indicator of stress, I would think it could be, but I would expect to see a pattern and re-occurrence before I'd point at it. So I'm not sure what to say about that. Although as a combined behaviour, I would say she is stressed. Is she only feeling "safe" to express those behaviours in from of my W? Idk...
+ In regard to a rash... ??? Maybe it was something she ate...?
