Thanks 25. I am going to read that over a couple times and let it really sink in. I do want to forgive some day, just not right now. As for the scorecards thing, I gotta admit that I have been doing just that. I even think what her life will be like compared to mine in 10 years etc.
I am finally able to do something about my happiness, now that I have closure. I have no intention at all of ever reconciling, so really don't care how STBX sees me. I could walk on water, cure cancer, eradicate world hunger and ensure world peace, and she still wouldn't see me as a good man or the man for her.
That's ok though, because I know I am a much better man today than I have ever been and I feel more free today than I have in many, many years.
