H texted me, told me D was gonna be mad at him. That I would probably hear it when he brought them home.
I asked (texted) why? Said she ate some candy after he told her not too. They were gonna have to wait till after supper.
My daugher ate it anyway...they were driving in his truck. He got mad, slammed on brakes, OW in front seat got mad because my daughter disobeyed. Ow commented to my d that if it were up to her she wouldnt be going to no military ball next weekend and that she needed to f**king learn to listen to her daddy.
My daughter told me this after her dad dropped them off...before he could get out of my driveway, I was out the door! I stopped him and told him as calm as I could (and my heart was racing!!) that he needed to let his gf know that she will NOT talk to my 10 and 14 year old using that kind of language and that her two cents doesnt matter when it comes to our kids!!!
I was SO MAD! I told him that we have never talked to our kids that way and I was not gonna allow any adult to talk to them that way! She had no right and he LET her talk to them that way and didnt say a thing!!
He knew I was angry. I told him that I would let him handle the sitch this first time, but if it happened again, I would handle it my way!
Of course he tried to defend gf that she was just mad too and didnt like our kids acting that way.
Ok, they are kids you know...I try to pick my battles with them...she ate the candy after you told her not too, well no supper then....what happened was uncalled for.
So, he told me he would talk to gf about it. This morning I asked if he handle it...he said no, but he would.
Right.
I asked when?
He said "asap"
I said "today"
he said sure.
Not sure I believe he will say anything about it and I told him that.
He said he would tell her.
I dont think he will, or he would have last night.
He's a chicken...letting some foul mouth woman talk to our kids however she wishes.
I wont stand for it.
There my kids too.
I know I cant protect them from everything, but I will try my best to make sure they are happy and not being talked to in a disrespectful manner.
UGH....just had to vent!!
So, what do I do? Did I handle it badly??
Do I just assume he will tell her?? I dont want my kids around her at all, and this just seems like a bad start to things to come....its not the first time she has gotten ugly with them either...
I hate this. I hate having to even deal with this kind of stuff!
How can my H be with someone SO different than me?? SOmeone so foul mouth to children???
Yep...still mad
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Thanks...thats my feeling on the matter as well. I dont believe he will handle it, but I have set my boundary. He knows that if she talks to my children that way again they WILL let me know about it and I WILL handle it with her directly.
Just had a visit from a guy friend that knows my H. Said for me not to worry, my H will get whats coming to him one day...just another person telling me about the reputation of this woman. She will run around. Funny, this guy told me he asked my H if he was running around on this woman too....he of course said no. Ha...yea right...if he has tried with me, I know he will try with anyone else. He is a good liar. Will lie to your face.
Ugh...still mad about this.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I asked if H talked to gf about the sitch yet....nope.
Actually he yelled it at me through texting.
Then tried calling me.
I told him I would handle it since he werent.
I will NOT let someone talk to my kids that way and think its quite alright.
Then H told me "for you info Im waiting on my therapist to call me".
Guess he has to ask her how to tell someone NOT to talk to his kids that way!
How hard can it be???
Im so angry right now.
I told him that he should have handled it that night. He told me then was NOT the time to handle it.
What is he afraid of.
AND why do I let him control me??? I could have handled it already and she could be mad at me, and he wouldnt have a thing to do with it.
He is still trying to defend himself and his gf of why the things were said. I told him thats why his daughter wont talk to him, that everytime she does, he defends his gf and himself and disregards his daughters feelings.
Ugh, Im so mad
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
So, H talked to therapist...he had unanswered questions that he needed answered before he could talk to OW about language with kids.....??? Dont know what the questions where.
Anyway...he told me last night that he talked to his gf about it. I asked if she understood and he said yes, they had a nice long talk about it.
So, we'll see how it goes now. I dont think he thought I was satisfied with it. Im just concerened about the next time something like this happens...will he have to consult with his therapist everytime about everything problem that comes up??
And I have this overwhelming feeling he wants to keep his "two" worlds separate....me and ow never being allowed to speak.
Idk...just a feeling.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Punkin....I have a feeling blame was put on me. But I dont care. I dont care what she thinks of me or what she may call me. I have the upper hand here. These are my kids, not hers. As long as she knows her language isnt acceptable around my kids and they will tell me if it ever happens again, well that should put her on guard if she wants to be "happy" with MY Husband. Dont want her little perfect relationship ruined with him.
He is a liar and a cheat and will cheat and lie to her too!!! I laugh, because she thinks being with him is the best thing that ever happened to her!!!!!
Ugh...
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
It really doesn't matter whether the discussion happened or not and debating it doesn't change a thing. Reality is we can only truly control what happens on our own watch. We can suggest, plead and/or threaten but the absent spouse is going to do what they are going to do. Your daughter is a smart one. She has grown strong because she has her momma as her example. I don't think she will put up with such disrespect for long. She will be okay.
I don't see the harm in him choosing to wait to discuss issues with his therapist before dealing with things. He recognized a weakness in himself and proactively dealt with it. You will be better off believing that therapy helps rather than he is using it as some sort of weird crutch.
Hang in there, Kissak. Don't let it get to you. Remember to just control what you truly can.
*hugs* ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
