I think the anger is good right now. But, I know it's not good to feel for a long time. I will make her b'day June 23 my let go of anger target date. A month of anger seems reasonable for 10 years of deception. I had planned to wish her a happy b'day etc, but now I am going to simply let the day pass with no recognition from me. Since we met 23 years ago on her b'day it seems like a great day to make about letting go my anger and not about wishing her well.
I will forgive her for some things some day, but right now I am not sure I will ever forgive her completely. Maybe some day I will think she deserves forgiveness, but I just don't feel that way right now.
I can however, forgive myself now. There was truly nothing I could do to stop her from reaching her ultimate goal of life with OM. I admire her dedication to that 8-10 year plan, but at the same time finally realize just how dedicated she really was. Nothing was going to stop her.
