zero12... thank you for the kind words. I've read some of your posts and you seem spot on these issues.
Everytime I say..."I've gotta make some space for myself," she takes steps back toward me. In fact, when she wouldn't give me her phone number as an emergency backup (since my social circle right now is very small and mostly out of town, and we've been very close and good friends despite our separation), she said she'd sleep on it, and then would talk to her counselor.
I had written her and said I needed some space away from this constant roller coaster and that she knew how to get a hold of me when she was willing to just *be.*
Well, not only did she call twice the next day, she gave me her phone number, and she invited me to dinner on Wed (today) and then for an End of the World party on Saturday - just the two of us. I was able to say no to the Wednesday dinner because of previous plans (dance class that I'm just starting), so we changed dinner to Thursday, and if we don't fight, we'll have our party on Saturday! I'm not sure what happened in her counseling, but something did, something happened where cutting off contact was deemed too extreme.
So, when these opportunities arise, for me it's a place for me to demonstrate ways I have changed, ways I can employ DB techniques.. to listen, to be calm, to be understanding, to just *be* without talking about relationship or doing any future-looking at all. So I jump at those opportunities... which then goes against going dark or LRT.
I'm having difficulty finding a balance. Suggestions, observations? Thanks.
