bolt tightening

[Bolt]

MHL, I feel like your my brother in all of this. I thank you for the words of encouragement and of wisdom.

I am following what you are saying almost to a tee.

As far as the W - I keep contact ONLY for facts. Her returns for more communication have waned and that helps me greatly. The less I hear or think of her, the better. With no communication, that makes it easier.

The blames - I don't care about it anymore. She did try to blame me for something I wasn't even around for but it didn't get to me at all - actually, I found it quite funny...and sad. But it didn't affect me negatively.

I even heard that she thinks I still want this to work. I've detached so much now that I can't even imagine being with her again. Her infidelity is too much and I've severed those feelings off me for her.

As for the oldest D - I don't commiserate when it comes to her mom. As a matter of fact, I agree with some of the things her Mom says that upsets D. I am stern with D but much more apathetic then my W is. That's too bad but I guess that's all part of the MLC. She blames the D for everything. That causes D to have anger - but I don't feed it. I reassure her that there is still plenty of love for her from me AND her mom. I do it by showing her love though...not just saying it.

Drama? Oh yeah...I know all about that. I can differentiate between regular drama and divorce drama because the regular drama doesn't last very long and usually comes from nowhere. I am getting her into counseling. I'm looking at a half dozen right now and have already had her talk to the school counselor.

The guardian has been helpful as well.

The youngest D is starting to have a hard time. She had a great weekend with us - and her sister and is now withdrawing a little. She doesn't like it "down there" (at Mom's house) but is afraid to tell her. She's in a tough situation.

I have been having her focus on the time we DO have together and make the most of it. She's in a very bad spot because she has nobody to play with. Her Mom never did and is busy with work. I make time to play with my kids - heck, I'm still a little kid anyway...

Begrudgingly, I'm starting to see the only real solution is for me to move closer so we can co-parent. Selfishly, I'm not happy because the town is much smaller and has zero opportunity for my career. But if my kids are happier, it's all worth it.

Back to the W. Right now, I'm totally fine with the limited conversations with her. I don't think I'm 100% over what has happened but as of right now, I don't want our R back. Not as it was...not with this person.

I have been GAL big time. I'm meeting a ton more people and have "dates" that I'm looking forward to. I'm not rushing into anything just meeting people. I like to hang out with people and for the last few weeks have been isolated. I'm making myself happy - something a few weeks back wasn't sure I could.

AND I"M WRITING MORE!!! that's the biggest thing

Thanks again MHL!