M exit strategy

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Re: M exit strategy ~ kd ~ #2155124 05/18/11 03:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 13,511 Likes: 1 CA- now East coast 2 25yearsmlc Member
25yearsmlc Member 2 Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 13,511 Likes: 1 CA- now East coast	Not to quibble KD, b/c I know you're going thru some #$%&^, but why not just say what YOU think? And give her something to live UP to, rather than implicity suggesting she's selfish or wrong (which is what your question is implying)? "I know we both want what's best for the kids...to me, 15% just isn't best for them and I KNOW it's not alright with me. I'm not being a jerk when I say I want to try to stay on track with something closer to what we agreed to..." Don't ask her to defend her position. IT corners her and she gets defensive and you ARE talking about some behaviors that sound tit for tat. I swear KD, asking "why are you x?" Or "How can you say...?" are questions my DB coach said are ?s designed to trigger Defensiveness in the recipient. So avoid questions like those. Make sense? Also, absolutely try to assume the best of motives in your spouse. It's crucial for communications and interactions...it SO helps them to see their actions in a clearer light....sometimes... NO, I AM NOT SAYING ALL OF THIS IS YOU BEING COMPETITIVE...I'm saying the WORDING could simpy focus on the kids and your opinion/feelings. No asking her to defend herself...just stating your position and leaving it at that. I am also assuming you will go to court for this, right? Be ready. Sounds as if you'll prevail, based on your commentary here. But back to my 1st point in the earlier post, I didn't see how it lessened your time that much. Assume the best of motives on her end ( TO HER FACE AT LEAST...THIS GIVES HER SOMETHING TO LIVE UP TO, MAKES YOU LOOK BETTER, MIGHT ACTUALLY INFLUENCE HER AND KEEPS THE CONVERSATION ON TOPIC, WHICH IS ABOUT WHAT REALLY IS BEST FOR THE KIDS...) And it's absolutely the route to go. Imply nothing nefarious or selfish in her motives. With that in mind, can you explain to ME why she might want this change anyhow? It'll show you can see her POV, to me at least. And I'll get what she's saying, which I don't yet. hang in there--don't hate KD. It only hurts you and the kids M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 2016 X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016 = CLOSURE 4 ME Embrace the Change

Entire Thread
Subject	Posted By	Posted
M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/16/11 07:06 PM
Re: M exit strategy	sgctxok	04/16/11 08:33 PM
Re: M exit strategy	islander	04/16/11 11:08 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/16/11 11:25 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/17/11 12:40 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/17/11 06:13 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	04/17/11 12:54 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 02:06 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	04/18/11 02:28 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Forrest Gump	04/18/11 04:21 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 12:27 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 01:02 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 01:26 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Mach1	04/18/11 01:51 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 02:17 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 04:13 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	04/18/11 04:18 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 04:39 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 05:34 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Mach1	04/18/11 05:46 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 06:16 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 06:32 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Mach1	04/18/11 06:53 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/18/11 08:24 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/19/11 02:40 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/19/11 02:57 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/19/11 06:46 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/19/11 06:55 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/19/11 08:20 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Redo	04/19/11 08:26 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/20/11 05:25 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Redo	04/20/11 07:52 PM
Re: M exit strategy	jbnati	04/20/11 08:24 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/20/11 08:38 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/20/11 08:43 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Eryam	04/20/11 08:51 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/20/11 09:05 PM
Re: M exit strategy	hydin	04/20/11 10:43 PM
Re: M exit strategy	OnMyWay	04/21/11 02:37 AM
Re: M exit strategy	OnMyWay	04/21/11 02:44 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/21/11 03:05 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/21/11 09:19 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/24/11 04:53 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/24/11 02:22 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/24/11 03:07 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/25/11 05:51 PM
Re: M exit strategy	ninelives	04/25/11 06:20 PM
Re: M exit strategy	2stepboogie	04/25/11 07:22 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Redo	04/25/11 07:29 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/25/11 09:07 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/26/11 12:51 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/26/11 09:46 PM
Re: M exit strategy	jbnati	04/26/11 09:49 PM
Re: M exit strategy	islander	04/26/11 11:54 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/27/11 04:01 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/27/11 04:15 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	04/27/11 02:08 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	04/25/11 06:24 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/21/11 02:45 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	04/18/11 03:38 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	04/27/11 10:13 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	04/29/11 08:39 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	04/29/11 10:21 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/03/11 01:03 PM
Re: M exit strategy	jbnati	05/03/11 01:40 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/03/11 04:26 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	05/03/11 06:37 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/03/11 08:10 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/03/11 11:18 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/03/11 11:20 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/04/11 02:29 AM
Re: M exit strategy	islander	05/04/11 01:13 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/05/11 07:08 PM
Re: M exit strategy	islander	05/05/11 07:33 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/05/11 07:43 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/07/11 03:55 AM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/07/11 05:09 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/07/11 06:41 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/08/11 05:23 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/09/11 06:10 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/09/11 06:26 AM
Re: M exit strategy	islander	05/09/11 01:01 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/09/11 10:13 PM
Re: M exit strategy	♪CS♪	05/09/11 10:26 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/09/11 11:23 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/10/11 01:59 AM
Re: M exit strategy	♪CS♪	05/10/11 02:09 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/10/11 02:14 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/10/11 02:20 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/10/11 02:32 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/10/11 03:51 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/10/11 12:48 PM
Re: M exit strategy	♪CS♪	05/10/11 01:54 PM
Re: M exit strategy	♪CS♪	05/10/11 02:01 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/11/11 03:05 AM
Re: M exit strategy	TulsaTime	05/11/11 03:23 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/11/11 04:04 AM
Re: M exit strategy	TulsaTime	05/11/11 05:23 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/11/11 01:20 PM
Re: M exit strategy	ninelives	05/11/11 03:19 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/12/11 04:55 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/12/11 05:17 PM
Re: M exit strategy	♪CS♪	05/12/11 05:46 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/14/11 08:05 AM
Re: M exit strategy	ninelives	05/14/11 12:53 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	05/14/11 01:07 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/17/11 04:35 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/17/11 05:38 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/18/11 04:34 AM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/18/11 06:36 AM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	05/18/11 02:21 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/18/11 03:06 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/18/11 03:16 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/18/11 03:37 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/18/11 05:30 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 01:56 AM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/19/11 02:13 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 02:25 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 02:33 AM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/19/11 09:44 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 03:16 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 04:16 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 04:49 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/19/11 05:12 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/19/11 05:14 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/19/11 06:08 PM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/19/11 11:07 PM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/20/11 07:04 AM
Re: M exit strategy	25yearsmlc	05/20/11 08:33 AM
Re: M exit strategy	~ kd ~	05/20/11 04:16 PM
Re: M exit strategy	Starsky309	05/09/11 02:48 PM

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