I just got off the phone from a conversation with a woman who has been best friends with STBX and I for about 15 years. She sees everything I finally see today. STBX had a plan for years (as many as 8-10) and worked it masterfully. There is a reason I was on this site for 6 years without ever achieving true success. STBX wanted it that way.
I feel foolish and very used, but I also know that I was blissfully unaware of many years and enjoyed my life. I also know that it was best for our kids to have their mom and dad together for those years. The good news is that I FINALLY have the understanding I have been missing and now can FINALLY have some form of closure and can get on with the second half of my life.
Today is literally the biggest day of my life. It's a painful one, yet a liberating one at the same time. So much weight has been lifted off my soul. I have no idea why I just got it today, but I am so happy it didn't take even longer.
Right now, all I feel for STBX is pure hate. The good thing is that I know that hate will fade over time, just like the love in all our marriages did.
