Detach Dog

[ninelives]

Im not sure if loving someone is a choice. I think I will always love her in some capacity. We have shared too much together including the birth of our children.

Im just not sure if I can be in love with her forever.

Today is the concert, its funny. I always wake up thinking about her but then immediately try thinking about something else with mixed success. One bit of progress is that I can sleep in our bed and when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can get back to sleep.

Also last night when I was going to my drum lesson, I was on the bike and felt really alive. I was thinking, If she didnt walk, I would have never bought the bike, gotten myself back into university type shape and just started looking after myself better. I did get into a rut for sure. Dont know what that was all about but it was there.

Grew my hair out, put on weight, didnt really want to go out. Just became complacent. Not sure why that happened.

I like 25's suggestion about saying yes to all invitations. That is a great idea however, it could get pricy.

I think I am going to make it and continue to be the change. I cant say that Im at the top of the mountain, but I am getting the right gear on to scale this thing. Im finally understanding from within that I have to work on me. NOt just words. This site has helped so much. The 2x4's were so good.

The wallowing had to stop. Poor me is pointless. Embarrassed I was there for so long.

Another day well on its way.

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