I had a monumental epiphany today. I know it's not supposed to be a good idea to look to the past, and we should only focus on today and tomorrow. But, for the last year and a half I have been trying to figure out why the whole thing just doesn't make sense to me. Today, I got it! It really hurts, but at least now, I can finally have closure.

You would have to read through all my threads to understand completely, but I have lived through it all and can't believe it took me this long to get it. Basically, the last 2 years have all been planned by STBX. She put a plan in place that would allow her to wind up with her Boss and at the end of it all, make me look like the bad guy and her look more like an innocent victim of circumstance.

The day she said she was moving, she said she hoped it wouldn't be forever, that was a lie. In the first six month after she moved out, we dated and went on vacations and things seemed to be getting better. That was all an act.
Slowly she started to spend less time with kids and I, claiming I was pushing too hard, that was a way to make it look like she wanted to be here, but couldn't because of me.

I really couldn't understand a lot of her actions this year, but that's simply because she moved her plan a little faster than in the past and became less careless and she got so close to her ultimate end.

I had been thinking that a lot of it was a plan by OM/her Boss, but it was really her plan all along. She had to make him look like the bad guy, so my anger would be at him and not her. Like a fool, I did exactly that. In fact, I did every thing she wanted every time.

I feel like an idiot for not getting all of this earlier. I have wasted so much time trying to save something that couldn't be saved. There was no way to break her plan.

I never wanted to believe that I spent over 20 years with such a conniving, evil woman and that is why I couldn't see it. Finally, I can admit who she is and what she has done to me as a person. She destroyed my self esteem and pride. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

Yes, this really hurts, but now I feel so much better about quitting. Her plan worked to perfection and she came out smelling like roses. There is nothing I can do about that. It is very unfair, but it comes from an unfair person.

One main DB principle is to believe nothing of what you hear. I should have focused on that so much more. She lied, lied and lied some more. Had I not trusted her at all, I would have made it here a long time ago.

I am so upset it took me so long to get it. Wow, was I a fool. I was, not am.

WOW!!!


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.