Back here again - why oh why?

[lovehurts2]

Came back from C.

Did not think it would go that way. Therapist told me what I had already known , things I learnt from DB. H was impressed as he never read a book before.

But therapist gave us advice to NOT be together. She figured that since H is adamant to not make things work,that I should let go. That I deserved to be loved back. I was gobsmacked but what she said made sense. H agreed and was happy that therapist agreed to what he was thinking. It broke my heart because reading DB and DR give you the sense that if you GAL/180 things might turn around and a WAS may come back?
But this lady was telling us that since we have broke up many times before, that this needs to be it. And for us to tell our friends that if we get back together to stop us.

She described the break ups in our relationship like a dogs tails, in reference to dogs who get their tails snipped off. There are dogs who get snipped off at the base, it's painful but it's a clean cut. And there are dogs who get their tail snipped off bit by bit. You hurt, you heal, you hurt, you heal. She said we are at that last stump and if we snip that off, there is no more.

She said in her own words that if we got back together " it'll be a sh*t fight up hill" and you might just roll back down. She didn't even explain why we keep fighting the same issues or explained our behaviours in why it went sour.

I am disappointed that C did not go the way I hoped it to go, if anything it pushed H further away.

H isn't even wearing the ring no more. He mentioned at C that even when we got M it didn't feel right and we were separated he was do happy .
My heart is broken in a million pieces. It's over and I feel like a fool cause i was holding onto hope.

I've given up. It hurts so bad.