Today is a new day

[~¤DG¤~]

I'll give a brief recap of my sitch so you don't have to read pages and pages of my story.

H & I have been married since 6.06, no kids together, me 2 kids from previous M. Ages 15 & 10 (both boys). H has a S from previous relationship 7.
Been having M problems for a good year, H left on Feb 20 of this year and we are still separated.
There has been no talk of D at this point.
I have been in IC for almost 5 months.

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Yesterday, for those who didn't read my previous thread "I'm still here" H did attend my C session with me yesterday.
It went about as well as it could have gone I guess. Emotional for me, I think I cried pretty much the entire time.
H did open up quite a bit, and was all over the place emotionally. Sometimes sounding very angry, and other times being close to tears.
I never realized how badly he is hurting in all of this. I have been so focused on my pain and what this S is doing to me, that I didn't even think about how hard this must be on him.
I also thought that by now he should know if he wants to try to repair the M or not, but after listening to him I realize I have no right to place any expectations on him.

I've been so focused on the future of our M and the "What if's" that I haven't thought about much else.

I listened to everything he had to say, without interrupting or trying to excuse or explain anything. I validated his feelings and just took what he said to heart.

I realize now that I need to love him enough to let him go and work on himself with no expectations. As hard as that is for me, I have to do it for him. He needs to work on him, and I need to work on me.
A lot of people on here have told me that I should put my M in a box somewhere and put it on a shelf, and I always thought that would be impossible, but now I know what they mean. It doesn't make any of this any easier but grasping the concept has made a major difference in my train of thought.

Last night, I didn't expect to hear from him at all and I didn't, and if I don't hear from him for a while I understand. I love him and I miss him, but I know why he is doing what he needs to do.

Tonight I am going to dinner with a friend I haven't seen in a good 10 years. We reconnected via FB, and I am looking forward to seeing her and catching up. It's supposed to be a beautiful day today, and I am grateful for another day on this earth.