Thanks all, I am now on ch. 6 of "co-dependent no more" and I can tell it is going to help me allready. I need to face reality, and accept the fact that I may end up D'd. I need to not let my Rel. or my H be what makes me happy, I need to make myself happy!
Thanks for all the advice about the Lawyer, paperwork, & D. I dont think he has done anything yet to file, as he said he would wait, but you never know with my H.
He text his sister yesterday to ask her if she would manage a bar for him if he bought one...Total crazy talk, He doesnt have the money or lines of credit to do such a thing, or even a liquor licsence for that fact.
My H and I have no kids. Just 2 cats, 1 dog, and a gold fish. I love pets. Each of our Vehicles are both in just our own names. He pays my cell phone bill as its part of a business plan.
The house is in my name (as it was my grandmothers, and when she passed I bought it from my parents with a home equity loan). The garage is very big and attatched to the house, he is still using it for now due to his construction equiptment.
So I dont really think we have any assets to split. However, last time when we were legally seperated he tried to get half of my teachers retirement fund. Currently, he also has a retirement (fidelity) fund which he did not have during the past seperation.
I have been laid off from teaching since then and currently am on unemployment sending out three applications a week - only to always hear - "Sorry we have no openings". Its a drag.
I am very nervous about our up-and-coming talk. I am scared to say or do the the wrong things when he is here - (I know its my codependent feelings). I agree my list was too long/wordy. I will just try to listen to his thoughts and questions, and say "i am sorry you feel that way".
What is it you meant by doing an Action? I read today that co-dependents such as myself often over-react and under-react, and rarely Act. How am I too act??? Or what am I to act on???
Are you referring to putting my foot down and asking him to leave me be and get his crap out. This would be a different action on my part since in the past, I was always so sweet to him and polyanna like and always tried and be upbeat and peppy when he would come and visit back in '07-'08 during the other times he left.
Or are you suggesting that I just dont cry to his threats of a D and rather Act as if that is what I want too. I dont really want a D, I just want him to want to get sober. I know I cant say that anymore to him though.
I guess that I dont know what kind of action to take yet. Any advise would be great on this matter. Thanks, TIPPER P.S. I got my first 500 series in bowling tonight ever. I bowled a 152, 190, & a 167 making a 509 series total. I was so happy. I have been working on that for ten years now since I started with a 67 average -I am pretty proud. Yeah! And I won the fifty fifty drawing. Kind of weird -since the 1st time My H left - I won $400 on a super bowl board, the 2nd time my H left - I won a trip to florida/bahammas, and now this 3rd time he left I am staring to win stuff again. WEIRD!
