Irish, I know we have only posted to each other a few times, but I see you as a very sweet person. One who can get the (above) qualities back when you apply them to anything in your life.
We all agree that the sit. with our R's just plain old stink and that it is not easy to get through. You are heartbroken - as most of us are or had been.
It is ok to feel those feelings as long as you dont let those feelings control your life. You can take control over those feelings once again, if you choose to.
You certainly are not a sad pathetic women. You are strong as Heck. Dont forget that!!!
Sometimes, I have heard many people on these boards move on and find new R's down the road - and many of them refer to that song by garth brooks "sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers"... just think that could be you some day. Be optimistic and keep your head up.
Dont feel your being repetitive here - it hurts and it is ok to say so as many times as you need in order to vent and to release it.
Then, you need to start saying that you will try to "thought block" - vision a stop sign in your head everytime you think of bad -jealous- resentful- hurtful thoughts and replace those thoughts with any thing that is positive in your life right now (ex: kids, family, friends, nature, pets, etc...).
This process has helped me to currently stop the crying for a time being. I think of my family and how great they have been to me in all this and how it has actually brought me so much closer to my parents than I ever could imagine. I think of the beauty of nature - I often see bald eagles across the street from my house on the river - what a blessing. I think of my Pets, esp. my dog snoop> she is so stinking cute.
We all have a lot to be happy for, if we just open our eyes to it. Thank God for those things! Some one else should not be what makes you happy - a relationship should not be what makes you happy - you should make you happy! Your worth it!!!!!!!!!!!! TIPPER
