How do you get rid of the fear? The reality of my future is setting in. I am not finding it to be exciting or something I am looking forward to... I am embarrassed by the jealousy I feel regarding his new relationship. The jealousy I feel when I think of moments he and his new love will have with our kids. These ugly, pathetic emotions are making me physically ill. What am I going to do? How am I going to get through this? I don't have anything left to pull me up out of this hole. I don't want to be alone. I can't succeed with this hand I have been dealt. I see an IC, take anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds - and it still isn't helping me. I pray - I smile - I avoid - I show up.

What am I going to do?

M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years
Ds-24,22/S-18
D - 3/11
A Day at a Time