It does not matter if you go to Japan in the end you will always face yourself again.
The approach you are taking and your W is taking is very different.
You have ackowledged and recognized your faults and have chosen to work on them, a task that is extremely difficult to accomplish, in reality it never ends.
She has found comfort in OM but that is short lived and superficial. She will face herself sooner or later.
IMO she is running away from her problems
Running away from problems is not only futile, it leads to a false sense of security. The erroneous premise is that your problems can be left behind by utilizing one or more strategies. The reality is, problems follow you until they are resolved.
Continue to work on yourself and continue to improve. Be the rock for your kids and everything else will just happen.
Stop looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, just start walking and you will see it.
Even though your wife is unable to forgive today or tomorrow doesn’t mean that she will not eventually come around and decide that her behavior isn’t getting her anywhere with her you, especially when she sees that you are not letting her moments of unkindness and cruelty get to you.
As hard as it may seem to do, YOU ought to try and forgive your wife for her inability to forgive you. The reason for this is so you can detach from her emotional outbursts properly. If you are holding in negative feelings towards your wife, detaching will be difficult to do. YOu will feel antagonism in your heart, which is not detaching but hanging on to her abusive words.
I know it is difficult to be kind while she is ranting and involved with OM and raving and calling you all kinds of names but this IS what will finally get her to express herself properly. She NEEDS to see that her emotional outbursts against you do not intimidate you, and the name calling does not disturb you. YOU are fine!
Be patient with your wife for a bit longer. Knowing how to detach is the first step in taking care of your self. Let your wife see she can trust the man she married. Your new attitude will reflect on to her and she will finally come out of her feelings and decide to forgive from the completeness of her heart.
