Affair (continued)

[25yearsmlc]

yes Chris, you are getting great advice. Please start taking it. You are not in any position to complain or put a timeline on this.

And btw, when you go to mc, try not to find a justification for the A and then end up blaming your w for "something must have been wrong IN the M, for ME to have an A"...b/c that ain't always the case...from what YOU have said, maybe you just got greedy and or selfish.

And if you did simply cave in to some base motives, i.e., if you have a character flaw of some magnitude (like most of us b/c we're all human) then OWN IT, and work on it. Don't stare at your navel trying to affix blame on other issues. Those deflect and do NOT serve YOU or the m well.

As for the control issues she says about you, well, if you want to disprove them, then sthu when she says there's nothing to be said.

She's TRYING to heal, but you crash her gates wanting to KNOW you are forgiven, AND NOW, and you cannot wait...well, get a grip.

Listen to the people posting to you here b/c they are Godsends giving you a chance at something you might not deserve.

hang in there. But respect what your w tells you. She has NOT given you a reason to distrust her. She needs consistently open good behavior from you, OVER TIME, to believe in you, IF it's possible and NOPE, there are no guarantees. But remember, there are no guarantees SHE won't get hurt by trusting you again,(she's taking the bigger risk)

so don't gripe about how long it might take for her to forgive, or that she might NOT forgive you at all and then, you may do "all this work for nothing"....the "work" is not for nothing, the "work" is FOR YOU.