Hi Denver- Just finished reading your thread and can very much relate to how hard it is to give a WAS space. My H left 9 months ago. Soon after he left he told me that what he needed from me was to 1) give him space and 2) be a safe person for him to talk to (meaning to not be judgmental, I guess). We were best friends, could talk for hours and enjoyed spending time together, so giving him the space he asked for seemed impossible to me.
It's been 7 months since either of us has uttered a single word about our relationship. I have backed off and let him do what he feels like he needs to do. There were times that I didn't talk to him for several weeks at a time. It has been hurtful, painful, difficult and most of all lonely but I know that I have done my best to give him what he has asked for. And believe it or not, in time I have gotten used to not seeing or talking to him as much. It's still not what my choice would have been, but I'm am proud of myself for doing it and think I will be a better wife (hopefully to him) in the future because of it. Right now we see each other about once a week. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope giving him this space will give our relationship another chance.
Don't know if this helps, but wanted to share.
M: 36 H: 37 Married: 13 years Together: 17 years No kids Bomb Dropped: 6/10 (MLC, OW, ILYBNILWY) He Moved Out: 8/10
