I feel for you. All I can say is that my h and both worked at demanding jobs and then after the birth of our 2nd child, I lost most of my libido. I assume it was hormonal as I was only 32. I recall wondering what was going on and whether it was permanent. I had friends share with me their same experience and all of us had given birth right before the big drop. When the baby turned 2 I began to exercise more (I was in the military) and noticed that my libido was returning, in full bloom. I can't recall which was first, the exercise or the libido but I got in shape and was "back to normal." Same thing happened after baby #3 too, although this time I knew it was temporary and it was.
My point in all this is that I don't believe it's that rare, BUT she does have to talk to someone about it. I'm assuming she enjoyed it more, before the kids?
Also, kudos to you for not mentioning the weight thing but most women who "feel fat" also stop being interested in sex as much do to self esteem and self consciousness.
Bottom line is she needs to feel that while this MAY be a natural but temporary event, it's wearing on YOU, and B/C YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT HER HEALTH, you'd like her to find out if she's really alright medically. (Aside from the obvious hormones, I also know a friend who's thyroid activity plunged after childbirth (not saying it's related but her timing sure was weird) and she started on meds and within 90 days was interested again.
Please also have your w read the Five Love Languages by Chapman. In that book it'll become evident to her that YOUR love language or one of them, is sexual. And that "tank" of yours is not being filled. Plus you will learn her love language and be able to fill hers too, and that may work.
If you think she loves you, and I bet she does., then she just really needs to know how it makes you feel undesired and uncared for, etc. At least you'll know you were clear with her and that it was her actual conscious choice to deny you an element unique and exclusive to marriage. So many of my girlfriends are amazed that their h's miss sex that much, b/c those women do not. She needs to know your libido has NOT dropped and it's not abnormally high.
Good luck - you are in the right place. Hopefully this is a temporary stop...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
