For those of you joining us for the first time you have enought reading material here to last you a week. I believe some of the best advice I have heard is contained within these threads, also some of the biggest blunders on what not to do. If nothing else it is a great learning experience.
Well it has been a few days since last I posted and frankly I have been very busy, also I needed a break from the boards and from everything and although I have been reading along with everyone I have not posted. I want to start living what I preach and it is very difficult to do.
It is easy to say detach, GAL, have no expectations but when you are in the middle of everything nothing is done without expectations, GAL can be painful, and detaching is practically impossible. So I have taken some time to think reflect and evaluate.
I think I'm on the right track and my dips seem to be less frequent and although I would be lying if I said that I don't miss her the pain is much more bearable now than it was just a few weeks ago.
The death of this R has been a slow painful process and there is no quick fix and no quick solution to how you feel. It is more a progression of feelings and acceptance.
GAL is important and it does make you feel better but it is hard to visit and do things with people other than the one you love, however I am happy to report it gets easier.
Detaching......well this is the one single hardest thing and while I am not completely detached I know I am on the right track. How do I know? I will explain in the follow up post to this. Some interesting things have happened since last I posted.
Expectations.........I am starting to figure this out and while it is true that you can proceed without having any it is not like what I had imagined. Everything you do in life carries with it some expectation attached to it, if it didn't you would not do it. I eat because I expect to get full. I work out because I expect to be in good shape. I talk to my X but I expect for us to get back together, so on and so on. However it does change a little and you learn to manage expectations to a more realistic level so that you are not constantly let down.
My last entry was May 6th so in the follow on post I will update you guys on the current events. 25MLC i will respond to your post, I read it several times before I vanished and I read it still.
Michelle I hope everything worked out at the wedding. I was thinking about you that day, hopefully you made it through ok.
