Take a deep breath and let it go. It seems you're working toward detachment and I know that's a very hard task, especially if you were so close before. Going dark is a gift to her to give her space, but even more importantly it's a gift you give to yourself to give yourself some space to detach and focus on GAL.
What she does with the space is up to her, but it's very likely she won't forget you. In fact, you probably already have her attention, even if it doesn't feel like it. If she's set on walking away then there's nothing you can do to change that, other than show her on those occassions you do see her that she's missing something great (which is why you need to GAL) and to be consistent in your changes so she knows it's not some trick.
As a WAW, I know everything that Michele says about us in DR is true. I can't tell you if you fit the role of the oblivious spouse, but I can tell you my H thinks he did nothing wrong when in fact he was ignoring me and the problems until I was depressed and tired of trying. Now he wonders why I'm mad and don't want to work at it anymore.
Only your W can fix or control or change herself, and you can only do those things for yourself. If your W decides to come back then she'll have her own work cut out for her. Let her focus on her own healing right now, while you focus on being your best.
