My sons prayer.....

[RedNailPolish]

I think Ive confused myself - and now Im upset. I felt that I had made a decision over the weekend to let H go. And after reading your post 25 I felt confused. I feel that Im not letting H go if I continue to do "family" stuff together. This confuses me and perhaps H.

25 I know that you think H might feel like Im punishing him by not doing family activities with him and inturn he might feel like he cant come back to me. But that is simply not the truth. And if he were to ask me I would tell him that the door is open for him to come back. But I cannot and will not allow myself to continue being in limbo. Its simply not healthy for me to question my self all the time. I need to get on with my life. And let H get on with his life.

I know that what I am doing and what I want to achieve is going to make me happy even if H is not in my life anymore. It shouldnt always be about getting H back. It should be about my happiness too. And it should be about H's happiness also. If he says that he is happy with OW - then who am I to question him? Im making assumptions that he is better off with me. Perhaps he is happy? Perhaps not. Only he can judge.

If he decides that he is not happy then he can tell me so. If he wants to get back together with me, then he can tell me so. If or when this happens then I will decide what to do about it. But for now I cannot live my life on "ifs". I can only live life for the here and now. Right now I can go and take self defence classes. Right now he can be with OW.

I cannot control what H does - nor do I want to. I have no control over what makes him happy. I choose to trust myself and my instincts.