And don't kid yourself... she is watching you ANYTIME that you have contact with her.
Denver
I know! Like I said, I can definitely relate to your sitch more since W's and my contact picked up through all of this.
Who would have thought being AWAY would be the easy part!?!?
Oh hell yeah. Once you are used to it anyway.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
You seem to be grasping the idea pretty well. As you know i have been watching and reading for awhile but have taken a break, I needed it.
IMO you need to proceed as if the D is going to happen and you will not bust it AT ALL. It is not what you do b4 but how you conduct yourself throughout the entire process that matters.
If the changes are real than it does not matter how it ends up because you have changed for the better.
Being a single dad is HARD AS HE!! But it does have it's moments.
Be a friend
Be kind
Be there
And in the end you will be proud of how you have handled everything.
Well, it was large, so I guess I can't say for sure. If he was he stayed in the shadows (where he belongs! ).
I did have this thought cross my mind before the service, however I never saw it as a realistic possibility. He never knew FIL. I guessed my W would have more class than that. Thankfully I was right.
2step, thanks for checking in man!
I know you're right, and it is the plan. I'd be lying if I said it was easy. I'd be lying if I said my mind didn't wonder off of that plan. But trying to do my best. When I feel myself getting weak, I work on letting it out where I can. Never in front of W.
Sometimes it really does feel like walking a tight rope. One wrong move and bam!
I've fallen before, but got back up. Still though, would rather not fall again!
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
It is tough. VERY tough but I will tell you this. As you continue to make your changes about you and not her it becomes easier because it just becomes who you are.
You are mom was a very clear indication that you are on the right path, based on her analysis and your reaction to them being late.
Once the changes become permanent then TRYING when your W is around is really NOT trying at all because it is just who you have become.
Changing something about yourself is perhaps, IMO, the single hardest thing any of us can do
Thanks 2step, you're right. Very hard, but very rewarding. It's a shame it took all of this for us to look at ourselves and start correcting our weaknesses. But it's never too late. Good change, is good change, regardless of when.
So W and I had a little texting match again tonight. Initiated by her again. I have to admit, I thought it was passed her window and she wouldn't do it tonight, but she did.
No pic of D this time. Just chit-chat. No details really worth mentioning other than one. A rather dirty joke she made.
It was funny, don't get me wrong. But to throw in anything sex related is noteworthy I guess.
It all lasted about a half hour, with her inititating the goodbye this time. I've usually done this, but I thought I would see where things went tonight.
Even during all of this I was thinking (and I know this is probably NOT something I should think about) about how her (at the time) EA started off through TM.
I almost feel like OM right now. It's weird.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
HA! Had to laugh CS bc it is so sad that it is kind of funny. I had moments like that in February. I still wonder if W and I do reconcile, if I will come to resent moments of feeling like that.
Hang in there man.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
As I suspected, there isn’t really anything to be concerned with in the papers W filed. I will fill out the response myself, but then I am going to pay the L to file everything for me. I just really don’t want to mess with the courts myself, and risk doing something wrong.
Just to file this simple response is costing a lot more than I expected. The filing feel alone is $395! Then with the cost of the L I will be close to a G just to get through this part…
This is all a reality check for sure. Hard not to think about things when you have to think about things…
It’ll be interesting to see how quickly W pushes things forward. L asked if there was someone else, I confirmed that there was. He brought up them getting married. STING!
This is just depressing this morning. SUUUUUCKS!!!!!
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
). 