I haven't responded and not sure that I should. No reason to really.
I have tickets to see U2 on Saturday. W is suppose to go with me. That is really the only thing that she and I need to talk about.
Suggestions?
Yes. What you have been doing hasn't worked. Time to admit it. Pursuing a woman who doesn't reciprocate seldom if ever works from my own experience or from my observations of observing other men that pursue women who act wishy washy. I have thousands of examples..
That means STOP ALL PURSUIT.. NONE...
Do not call her. Make plans WITHOUT her for the concert.
She JUST finished telling you that she needs space and that she feels pressured and here you are asking others about what you should do about the concert?
Give HER what she asks for.. She wants space...GIVE it to her.. Give LOTS and lots of space to her...
I realize that you secretly want to keep chasing. I realize that you probably want to find an excuse to contact her about the concert, when deep down it is always more than that...
One of the problems with a site like this is that you can almost always find someone who will give you hope or tell you things you want to hear. I am sure there will be others willing to tell you to contact her about the concert. IMHO.. HUGE mistake.. You should IMMEDIATELY make plans without her. That doesn't mean you are a jerk or act rude or nasty or punitive. No such things are needed. What IS needed is for you to leave her alone. When a woman tells you she needs space, a wise man moves on without her and continues on his way. He acts mature.
Matter of fact, the WISE man learns how to "read" a woman BEFORE she has to tell him these types of things. She has been feeling these feelings of pressure for some time. She has finally just now gotten the guts to tell you. Women usually hope you "get the message" with their other subtle hints. Their last resort is to "have" to tell you. They HATE telling men things like that. They would prefer you get the message..
Show her you "got" the message... Give her EXTRA space... Make HER come to you now.
Denver, I think that most of us here should respond to our WAS when they contact us. Just don't put your foot in your mouth. Be nice and keep it simple. I don't see where this could go wrong. Makes more and more sense to me these days.
Even in my sitch where I say I am done, I am still doing this. And I believe that I am done too.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
What? MOI??? Never!!...(and btw, thanks for checking in on the soldier boy)
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
LOL! No, your suggestion was pretty much what I was thinking anyway. Just figured I'd run it across all of you since my mind has been so far up my a$s lately.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
This is really why I think it is so important we take care of ourselves through all of this. GAL, detaching, etc, has many benefits, but an important one in my mind is to clear our heads.
We CAN'T do this with FEAR.
We CAN'T do this with ANGER.
We CAN'T do this with ANXIETY.
Just on a general note. I think ignoring contact from the WAS is reserved for times when it is used to protect US. If they are being nasty for example Not in any attempt to show HER something.
Acts of kindness definitely deserve responses IMO.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
The more I resist losing the person, the bigger my fear. The bigger my fear, the more I am threatened. The more I am threatened, the more I hang on and push the person away. By my resisting the future event, I make my fear come true.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
