Can I close the door and leave it unlocked?

[islander]

I don't know where to start. I am sure I will leave a lot out, but I will hit the highlights.

I got this info from FIL when we talked today.

Said that SD has to go to summer school, and I think if she doesn't do well, she won't go to 4th grade. She is VERY smart. She did good on her state test, except for reading comprehension (which she has ALWAYS done well in). Prior to Oct/Nov, SD read all the time and was always bringing home books and reading. Since then she has basically stopped reading, and her mom and dad are not making her read. My inlaws are to a point, but she acts out when she is told to do something.

Twice in the last week, once in my presence, SD got mad about nothing, and picked up an empty glass and acted as if she was going to hit her grandpa (FIL). I was present for the first incident. Apparently on the second incident, FIL believed she would have hit him with the glass if she wasn't stopped. She was always a loving, content, happy child...now this, and her mom doesn't even care. literally doesen't care.

My W went to pick up her D from her parents house yesterday, and her D told her "No, she did not want to go with her, she wanted to stay here, and that she had already spent time with her mom in the morning". I guess my W was crying about this, but she doesn't even see what the cause is. She will cry, but do nothing about the reason behind it.

SD told me about 2 weeks ago when I picked her up if we were going to my house or home, meaning her grandparents house. My W only spends about 2 days a week with her D now, then this weekend when she is supposed to have her, she is going out of town for the weekend and giving her D to somebody to watch. SHE DOESNT GET THIS!!!

Then there is all of the lying that SD is doing now. Lied about her play to her entire family, and then there were some other minor things. But she just turned 9, and is a differnt person, like her mom, bc of her mom.

She has even made comments that she was not going to let her parents see her D as much, but usually when she is mad. MIL is very worried about this.

MIL sent W a lengthy email yesterday in reference to all of this. Basically told her she wasn't even acting as a Step Mother to her D, let alone a mother. How the choices she has made this year have let her down. That they used to be so proud of her, but not now. ETC..ETC...but you get the gist.

And the email had nothing to do with me. I wasn't mentioned in it, but it is in response to her D, how she is suffering, and her mom doesn't even care. My SD has no home. She is litterally shuffled from one house to the next. The closest thing she has to stability is staying at my inlaws. And she really doesn't know where she will be from one day to the next.

Do you see why this hurts me so much? And there is nothing I can do about it. I am on the sidelines litterally watching my SD self destruct at 9 years old...

OH...and to top it off. She asked my inlaws for a 5 Hour Energy drink the other day, said she needed energy. And she really wanted one..What is going to happen when she is exposed to drugs. Is she going to say no, or do something she thinks will make her feel better.

I don't know if I have ever mentioned this bf, but my W and I are both cops. We see dysfunctional families all of the time. We see what happens to kids when they are hurting. We used to talk about this all of the time. How can she be so blind to her own D. It makes me literally sick.

I can not be a part of this madness anymore. I need to move on. I hope that my W sees the light and joins me. But I don't expect it anymore. And I don't think she will...she is too far gone. If she can abandon her own D, what hope do I have. If she ever does come around, I fear (not really fear anymore, just a realization) I will have already moved on.

Do you see why i feel the way i do now?